There’s a first time for everything, even bad things. Especially bad things. The trick, I think, is making sure there isn’t a repeat. Mistakes are mistakes, but making the same one over and over is discouraging. Many people, including myself, tell themselves predisposition is to blame. The list of excuses is long and essentially useless. Until we accept the blame for our actions, when we do not accept that we caused these problems, we cannot change anything. We can feel as guilty as possible, but without taking responsibility, it’s moot.
Yesterday, I had a serious discussion with one of my best friends about an issue that had been bugging me. Keeping the fact that everyone has different perceptions of reality all equally biased, I tried my best to share what my frustrations were and her actions that had prompted them. It didn’t make me feel any better and i’m sure she doesn’t feel any better either.
Everyone has arguments at some point in a friendship, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. To top it off, although I am still experiencing the same frustrations, they feel less justified. Trying to explain why I was hurt was hard enough, but when she asked what I wanted her to start or stop doing, I couldn’t come up with any reasonable suggestions. So, nothing has changed, except that I’ve probably antagonized and hurt her. Even as I was uttering the albeit softened accusations, my logic undermined many of my own supporting arguments. Many of the things I was complaining about were not within her control and I knew it. I know it.
So why am I still irritated? She can’t change the situation, she’s tried.
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