Doing what you love sometimes doesn't make logical sense. Being with the one you love when you know they will only ever see you as a friend, dancing so hard you get light headed. Why do I do these things? But, there are also many things I would love to do that I don't do, like travel, dance in different places with different people, learn from the best, or fight for the right kind of love.
My head is a whirlwind full of unfulfilled dreams and futile goals that I cannot let go of. I love dancing so I spend as much time as I can doing it. Naturally I have improved. This is no reason to let the day-dream in my head seem more realistic. If I let myself entertain this hope, I will be disappointed. I feel like I'm on the precipice of a decision and I am standing still, not daring to breath for fear of falling all the way down into the tempest below.
Some experiences shake you. Unimportant things, things that don't matter in the long run, stick with us. A few words, an action, even a thought can change the way we see the world. Inspiration is beautiful, but the inner turmoil is not pleasant. Sitting on my bed and contemplating hope, dreams, goals, and possibilities causes my cheeks to flush and my heart to beat a bit faster. And yet, I continue to sit. I don't jump up and start working. I sit. My head is in the clouds and the disconnect between it and the rest of my being is dizzying.
I tell myself to snap out of it. Focus. Scrolling through messages from friends and pointless articles on the internet does little to distract me from my odd state. The homework that I opened my computer to do has been abandoned in a tab that I haven't opened since I logged on. Music pumps through the system, amplifying each emotion. What I should be doing seems so boring.
Daydreams end.
Reality never stopped to begin with.
There is always work to do, whether it is working towards a dream or working to survive.
Life goes on.
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