not a feminist

Not A Feminist

Alright, this post is going to make it sound like the title is a lie, but I swear it's not. I am all for stay at home mothers, because have you seen what Daddy's idea of nurturing looks like? If not, you don't want to know; if yes, well you know where I'm coming from! But, that's not the point, it's the little indicators of chauvinism in our society that frustrate me.

There are so many stock phrases that reek of it,
"Boys will be boys." What does that mean, anyway? Won't girls be girls, or kids be kids? Why just boys?
"Well, he is a guy... so, you know." Don't take his crap ladies! Even if he is a guy and they're a bit helpless.
"Make me a sammich, woman!" Yes, I know this is a joke, but really? And don't even get me started on the kitchen jokes! Yes, they are funny. No, I don't get offended. But, they are an indicator
And that's not even going into the memes and song lyrics.

It's even evident in my home. if I ask my mom to make me a quick sandwich because I'm in a hurry but I need lunch, she looks like I smacked her in the face; when my brother sends a text saying he's on his way home and hasn't eaten and would appreciate it if she could make some dinner, she tries to make it something bordering on gourmet. Now, my interpretation of the situation around me may be exaggerated and I may not recognize all the factors, but it sure seems like a double standard to me.

I know we are different, and I know that we are made different for a special reason. the problem with pop culture is that it attempts to ignore these facts. On the one side, you have girls objectifying themselves and on the other women trying to remove gender from the equation entirely. news flash: it doesn't work that way! As women, we are equipped for different things than our counterparts- call it what you will: evolution, Divine Nature, what have you- but that does not make us inferior. But, it also doesn't make us superior. just.... different. Every person just that: a person. And every person is good at some things and less good at others. we just don't see that too much of the time.

It starts young, this figurative (to a point) indoctrination on what it means to be feminine or masculine. You can see it in kids shows and movies. The old norm was that the woman looks pretty, is kind, cleans, and waits patiently for a man to change her situation. Yes, it is horrible. But the new stereotype is almost worse and somehow almost identical, the woman looks sexy (or "sassy" as the seven-year-old girl I babysit puts it), is still really nice, has some significant talent, and makes her own decisions no matter what anybody else thinks. The last one is what worries me. Yes, be independent! Don't wait for a man to live your life, but don't throw it away because you wouldn't listen.

And it's not just girls that are bombarded with this, either. guys are dealing with it too. It is a little more subtle though, there's no Cover Men, but it's there and more damaging. It teaches them to tend towards violence and that a girlfriend is a status symbol. she isn't a person, she's a possession, something to get. And it gets worse as we get older. The brainwashing intensifies as we become young adults as a means of selling products. Buy this cologne! Men who wear it have the sexiest girl friends, or, even better, the most frequent one night stands. This filth is poured in at every opportunity. After all, how else does someone sell that stinky cologne?

So, amid all this, is it any wonder people are getting confused? If a guy doesn’t like cars or video games, he'll feel like a misfit; and if a girl prefers that new set of Magic cards than a new pair of earrings, she's not normal. There is no such thing as a normal girl or a stereotypical guy. We define those things by our preferences and choices. Normal is simply another word for average. Mathematically, it means the product of an equal part of each member of the set, and lingually, it’s synonymous with boring. Why do we shoot for that? Normal is boring! Be you! Gender doesn't define you. We define what it means to be feminine or masculine. Whether you try to change the world's view or simply adhere to it, make the decision for yourself and on your own terms

2013